reshaped clay

I awoke Christmas morning to the voice of my best friend on the phone confirming what I already knew: she was engaged! I learned a few days prior that the proposal would take place that morning, so I had plenty of time to prepare for her announcement. After arriving home from church that afternoon, I learned that 2 other friends were also engaged that weekend. Yes, 3 friends engaged in a matter of 24 hours! All I could do was… 

cry.

For hours. 

It was Christmas day, and I was supposed to be celebrating the birth of my Savior, yet all I could do was wallow in a pool of self pity. 

Hearing my friends’ announcements made me confront a really hard fact: I wasn’t truly comfortable in my singleness. The joy in their voices was muffled by one resounding thought:

“What’s wrong with me? Why am I alone again?”

My first answer was everything negative one could think of. However, a quick call to a sounding board in the form of my friend/spiritual sister helped me think through to the real answer: 

God’s still working on me. I’m alone because He needs my full attention. 

As I talked between sobs, I had a revelation and began to relay the story of the potter and clay to my friend.

¹ This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD: ² “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” ³ So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. ⁴ But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

 ⁵ Then the word of the LORD came to me. ⁶ He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the LORD. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. (Jeremiah 18:1-6 NIV)

My tears subsided when I finally realized that God is still shaping me into what seems “best to him.” He saw that I had become “marred” in some way, and He loves me enough to reshape me into another pot rather than allow me to be in a relationship with a misshaped build. Praise God!

However, my reshaping isn’t the end of the process.

After clay is formed into a pot, it must be fired in a kiln. Temperatures in a kiln can rise higher than 2000 degrees fahrenheit. I interpret the firing process as a period of testing. 

And, I accept it with open arms.

Do you know why?

³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:3 NIV)

God challenged me further today when I came across this verse in my Bible study: 

³⁰ And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? (Matthew 6:30 NLT)

My tears were the result of a faith issue. I am to depend on God for everything. Not just some things, EVERYTHING – including a future relationship. Perhaps I’m already reshaped and I’m currently in the kiln. Either way, I thank God for teaching me how to persevere. I know He’s preparing me for a journey to fulfill His purpose, how dare I become impatient with His timing? It’s perfect!