A Shift in Perspective

Lately, I’ve been thinking about this word perspective.

We can get so overwhelmed by the demands of today that we lose perspective of the years that quickly pass us by. I guess that’s why they say, “you can’t see the forest for the trees.” With small children, “today” can be rough. As I write this, it’s currently 2:32am and my sweet Sophia is crying at the top of her lungs in her room. I’ve changed her, soothed her, and rocked her back to sleep after awaking at 2am; yet, when I laid her back down in her bed, she woke up immediately and started crying again.

Sigh…

Interrupted sleep feels like torture to me. No, seriously. I’ve always been superiorly annoyed when awakened out of my sleep – even before I had children. But, as I rocked Sophia for those precious 30 minutes I thought to myself: this moment will quickly fade in my memory. Tomorrow, Sophia will be a day older and the next day, another day older. It won’t always be like this so I’ll choose to cherish this moment rather than be annoyed by it.

Trust me, it wasn’t always like this. In the trenches of infancy I would normally cry with her, ask God if He truly loved me and side eye my husband who seemed to be getting the best rest of his life. The funny thing is that Sophia was and is a great sleeper. She just has moments (usually while teething or not feeling well) that makes me question my entire life.

Something else I’ve questioned quite a bit lately is my transitioning from working full-time to becoming a stay-at-home mom. I’ve never been the girl that wanted nothing more than to care for her husband, home and children. I wanted to be a boss! I’m talking Oprah Winfrey level boss.

But, God had a different plan.

In the midst of His plan, I’ve had to take time to shift my perspective on my unimagined life. At first, I saw motherhood as a burden. In a sea of selfishness, I focused on my loss of identity rather than my new identity. I missed the freedom of who I was, and forgot to recognize who I was becoming.

I had to stop seeing my children as anchors and learn to view them as the propellers that they really were. I’m a wanderer by nature, and motherhood seemed to slow down time for me, anchoring me and preventing me from pursuing my passions. Oh what a lie!

What motherhood has really done is propel me into a new level of purpose. Before I had children, all I could do was think about me. Perhaps it’s due to the fact that I’m the youngest child, but it’s no excuse for selfishness, self-pity, and self-absorption.

God sees things differently.  In Philippians 2:3-4 NLT , He says,  

^“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

As a mother, I have to take an interest in others…before myself. What I may have gotten away with as just a wife doesn’t fly with a 3-year-old and 20-month-old. My poor husband.

Children aren’t impressed by ambition, they’re impressed by love. To them, love is tangible. In ensuring that they feel my love, I’ve had to slow down, put a few dreams on pause, and turn my attention to them. And, I’m okay with that.

A well-rested, present wife and mama is what God wants of me right now. Life is so much more than achievements. I can see that now. I can see that who I was becoming would end up lonely and successful; but who I am becoming will be surrounded by love and will be significant in stewarding the development of two strong-willed, determined tots.

Motherhood isn’t a jail-sentence. It’s a release to pour your life into individuals that will become representations of their Heavenly Father and earthly parents. What a high call and honor it is to be called, Mom. I humbly accept.